Okay well I guess I must apologize for my long absence. My life has been completed changed over the course of the last two weeks. On Saturday May 2nd at 1:07 AM in the morning Lana gave birth to our first child! We had a beautiful baby girl. Isabella Grace was born 9 lbs. and 3 oz. and she is the most beautiful thing I have ever laid my eyes upon.
The first few hours of our new parenthood experience were very surreal. The nerves and the anticipation and the medications had culminated into a very intense evening that blurred into the next morning. After the complete rush of a psuedo-emergency Cesarean had worn off it really began to sink in that I was a father. I honestly have yet to completely wrap my head around that concept and all of the implications that go along with the experience.
When she came out of the operating room and was laying on that little bed and the nurses were poking and prodding her, I felt this huge swelling in my heart. My very good friend Kathy once said that there weren’t any words or any emotions quite the same as the love you have for your very own child. I tried for the past nine months to think about how it would feel to be a father and how it would feel to be the person responsible for another life. That swelling in my heart was overwhelming and like no other emotion I have ever felt in my entire 29 years. I love my parents. I love my friends. I love my brother. I love my wife. But this love was so very different and so very wonderful at the same time.
It is hard for me to look at that little girl without really wanting to tear up sometimes. She is the most perfect mixture of Lana and me. I like to think that she has gained all of our greatest attributes and none of our not so great ones. It is hard for me to even type this post because every time I think about her and how much I love her I want to get all weepy eyed and mushy.
The entire experience is a compendium of emotions jam packed into a very small amount of time, and quite frankly it is overwhelming and exhausting. All at the same time I am filled with joy and have become a nervous wreck. My thoughts are inundated with high hopes for the wonderful life she will lead and fear for the challenges she will inevitably face. In the hospital the staff and various volunteer groups stop by your room and smother you with a deluge of pamphlets and brochures about every little possible ailment and syndrome and hardship that faces each new life. As much as you want to know the information contained within the documents in order to be prepared, it makes you a nervous wreck and suspicious of every little cough, sniffle, cry and anything else that might “appear” to be out of the ordinary. Every time I have a spare second, my head is full of worry over this illness or that illness, etc. I believe I should have bought stock in Pepto Bismol sometime last month.
I know every new parent usually undergoes this sort of torment with the birth of their first child. I am constantly waking up four or five times a night and going over to her bassinet to see if she is okay. If I cant see her breathing I will nudge her just to make sure. I wish I could regenerate my sleep in about 30 minutes or so, so that I could just stay awake 24/7 in order to keep a watchful eye on her at all times. I know that isn’t possible so I will eventually become exhausted enough to force myself to let go a little.
I am so thankful that everything with the baby and with Lana has gone so “smoothly” thus far. There were no complications with the birth and Lana and her have recovered nicely since then. I am also thankful for my parents and the guidance and the morals and the principles that they instilled in me from a very young age up to this day. They have done a great job raising two boys that were at times a handful. (That was the understatement of the year!) So thank you Mom and Dad for being such wonderful parents. And thank you Lana for being such a wonderful and beautiful and loving wife. And thank you to all of our friends and family who have brought us dinner or helped with errands and chores or helped with kind words over the last two weeks. We are very lucky to be surrounded by such great people!
As Lou Gehrig once poignantly said, “…Today I consider myself the luckiest man on the face of the earth.”
Lana and I thought that this was hilarious and I just had to put it on here as well. Dramatic Chipmunk and Dramatic Bella!